


Imagining it Thousands of Times

by TWDObsessive



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Daryl as reluctant leader, First Kiss, First Time Blow Jobs, Friendship/Love, Happy Birthday MaroonCamaro, Love Confessions, M/M, Prompt Fill, slightly OOC
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-22
Updated: 2019-05-22
Packaged: 2020-03-09 09:33:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,792
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18914278
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TWDObsessive/pseuds/TWDObsessive
Summary: Prompt fill:  "Daryl as reluctant leader".





	Imagining it Thousands of Times

**Author's Note:**

  * For [MaroonCamaro](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MaroonCamaro/gifts).



> Happy Birthday, MaroonCamaro!!
> 
> This fic was prompted by Maroon when she requested "Daryl as reluctant leader...in any situation" I translated that into Daryl as a reluctant leader in stuff and thangs. I'm pretty sure that's what she meant anyway. 
> 
> May seem out of character because the point is Daryl having to lead them in the start of thangs.

I’m starting to think it isn’t going to happen the way I imagined. And believe me, I imagined it thousands of times. I’m imagining it right now as a matter of fact. Rick’s lean body -- tanned skin and tight muscle pressed against me. And he’s breathing my breath and kissing my lips and wanting me. In my fantasies it’s always sudden and unexpected. And always, always, it’s Rick who initiates it. Christ knows I got no damn guts when it comes to that kinda thing. Can face a boatload of hungry walkers with nothing but a dull knife and a good idea and I’m fearless. But the thought of looking Rick in the eye and making something happen? It terrifies me.

I’d known since I was young that I wasn’t like most people. I knew it wasn’t normal to show up at school covered in bruises. I knew it wasn’t normal to eat squirrel that you caught yourself for dinner. I knew it wasn’t normal to have no friends. And I knew it wasn’t normal to like boys instead of girls. Growing up, all them things made me who I am. Self-loathing. Self-conscious. Suspicious.

I never acted on none of my urges when it came to men. Knew from a young age I’d be whipped out of my hide if I ever turned out to be a “fag”. Grew up. My pa died. And shit, I was still scared to death to act on anything. Too nervous. Didn’t know what to do or say or how to start a damn conversation. Didn’t know how to meet anyone. Time passed, dead started living and I’m still a goddamn virgin.

Had me a crush once. He rode the same school bus as me. Didn’t have no classes together, though. He was one of the smart kids. I’d watch him at lunch while he ate with his friends and I’d sit near him on the bus just so I could hear his voice. He was lean and tall, dark hair and dark eyes. And he smiled at me once. That’s what did me in.

What I have now? It ain’t no crush. That’s for damn sure. Ain’t no expert in things like this, but I think even a moron would know what love is when it sinks its teeth into yah. I’m in love with Rick. Sounds gay, I know. I’d sound more manly if I just said I wanted to fuck him. Which I do. But I want to love him, too. And I want him to love me.

But that way I been picturing it? A long eye fuck. Shallow breaths. Knowing looks. And Rick grabbing me suddenly and pulling me into my first kiss. Not gonna happen. It’s become clear that Rick is even more of a chicken-shit than I am. I may not got much self-worth. But I know Rick. I understand him. I can read his thoughts and I can sense his emotions and I have no doubt he has feelings for me, too. When he looks at me it’s like I’m the only thing he sees, the only thing he wants to see. The way he talks to me -- close, intimate, soft. No one else does that. And his touches, innocent as they are, they linger longer on my skin than they should.

I guess it’s thanks to Merle that I finally got the guts to make a move. I finally had my kin back, bittersweet as it was. But the way he’d been with Michonne, Glenn, and Maggie at the Governor’s place weren’t putting him in the best light. Not that I think there’s any light can make him look better. But he was my blood, my brother, and I couldn’t leave him after I done finally found the fucker. So when Rick gave him the heave-ho, I knew I’d have to go, too. And I knew the second I started walking away and saw that lost look on Rick’s face that I made the wrong, damn decision. No way I can leave Rick Grimes. No way. 

Hell, I knew I was going back that whole damn day me and Merle was circling around in them woods. When it finally came to a head between us, we started back to the prison. Just in damn time too, because genius was outside the gates without a weapon surrounded by walkers. Saved his ass. Again. It’s like it’s part of my job description now. Should add that shit to my resume. 

So that brings me to right now. We’re down in the bowels of the prison in one of them empty cells staring daggers at one another over our little scuffle ‘bout Merle. The air around us is heavy with unspoken words. Normally we don’t need to speak ‘em. We always been comfortable with silence between us. Sometimes there just ain’t no need to talk constantly. But this long eye fuck wasn’t amounting to anything. Something’s gotta be said and goddamnit he ain’t sayin’ it.

“Rick. What is this?” I finally ask. Nervous, but determined to get this shit out into the open.

“What is what?” he asks, knowing goddamn well what. And he’s looking back at me with them damn blue eyes that bore into me like a tick. I see him lower his eyes to my lips for just an instant. 

_Do it_ , I think. _Just goddamn do it!_ But he don’t do shit but stand there and eye me up like I’s an ice cream cone in the heat of summer.

“You know damn well what,” I finally growl. “This. This thing between us. This thing I ain’t got nothing else to compare to.”

Rick laughs nervously and runs the back of his hand over his brow. “I uhh...what do you want it to be?” he asks as he puts his hands on his hips.

He’s the leader. It’s always been his job to do this. Don’t he know I ain’t got no moves? Of all things he knows, he should know that. But I’m sick of waiting. I know I need to man up and make a move or this dance is gonna last until the final walker turns to dust. 

Once I done give up on him taking the lead, I take a few hesitant steps towards him and he backs up to the bunk.

“You can leave now. If ya want,” I tell him, soundin’ more grumpy than I Intend to.

“No. I don’t wanna leave.”

So I take another step into his personal space and it feels right for me to be there, like the space belongs to me. I let my gaze wander from his eyes to those pretty lips and I feel my heart pounding in my chest, but I’m not afraid. I lean forward so that our foreheads are touching, giving him every opportunity to back out. But he don’t.

I let a few of my fingers dance on his chin as I gently tug his mouth closer to mine and I kiss him. Rick’s lips part for me instantly and I press closer, my body warm against his. My hands go to his head, fingers spread through his thick, dark curls, hair I been wanting to run my fingers through forever. And just like that he’s in my hands, he’s responding to my kiss, and I can feel him growing hard between us.

Kissing Rick is like suddenly being whole when you never realized that you was only half. It’s like a flood of warmth deep in my chest and a sense of comfort I ain’t never felt before. I feel his hands cautiously rest on my hips, timid like he was afraid I’d leap away. Weren’t no reason for him to worry none. Cause I got no intention a ever lettin’ him go.

We kiss, soft and slow for long minutes that I ain’t been focusing on to count. Always thought it would be rougher and rushed cause of being two men, but it ain’t. It’s gentle and honest, sincere.

We finally break apart, gasping for breath, but I keep my hands on either side of his head and bring our foreheads back together. 

“Do you want this with me, Rick?” I whisper.

“Yes,” he answers, so I kiss him again and let my hands roam down his back and settle on his ass. It’s a nice ass. I’ve made note of that long ago. He has a way of wearing jeans with that utility belt low on his hips, that confident bow-legged walk. God how I’ve wanted him.

“What happens now then?” I ask.

“Whatever you want to happen,” Rick answers as he drops his eyes to my belt buckle. 

He was doing that thing where we don’t need to talk. I know what he wanted so I started to unbuckle and unzip and he slowly knelt down on the floor in front of me lookin’ up with them now-dark eyes. 

“Jesus,” I whisper at the sight of him submitting to me. After I drop my pants he kneels up to reach me and he sucks my dick into his mouth instantly. No hesitation. No question. My eyes roll back in my head and I gasp in pleasure. I look back down at him, not wanting to miss a thing and my hand slips back into his hair. “Look at me,” I say. And he does, eyes watering from his mouth full of cock, those plump lips spread wide over my shaft. He is goddamn beautiful and I feel the swell of my impending orgasm start to crest like a wave. 

“Think you can swallow me, Rick?”

He nods eagerly, eyes glazed as he moans around my dick. I grip his hair and set my own pace, watching closely to make sure he can handle it. The sound of his whimper, the sight of him on his knees, the feeling of his hot, wet mouth on my cock. And it’s like the crash of a wave when I come like a shot, Rick swallowing as he sputters at the unexpected amount of seed. 

I drop to my knees in front of him and kiss him hungrily, chasing my taste around his mouth.

“I can’t believe you did that,” I say with my shy lopsided smile. “Always thought I’d be the first one on my knees.”

“This was exactly how I’d been imagining it,” Rick says. “And believe me, I’ve imagined it thousands of times.”

I unbuckle his belt and pull it through the loops of his pants. “Ain’t no need to imagine no more. Take them pants off,” I say. And I’m pretty sure I’m gonna be okay leading us in this new thing we got.


End file.
